Kristi Simmons
Austin, TX

There are three things that come to mind when I think of my mom:
1. King ranch chicken casserole
2. Hallmark Christmas ornaments
3. The word “positive”

If you did not have a chance to try my mom’s king ranch casserole, you missed something special. Every time I went home in college, my roommate, Silvia, would say, “Do you think your mom is going to make king ranch?” And every Sunday when I would return, Silvia’s first question was not how my trip was, but “Were there any leftovers?” Mom knew me well because she always made an extra dish for me to take back home.

If you know our family at all, you know how much we love Christmas. And it is because my mom loved Christmas. Each year my mom would give us not one, not two, but several Hallmark Christmas ornaments. She always picked these out in November and tried to pick ornaments that reflected our personalities. Each year I would get a Wizard of Oz ornament and a fitness related ornament; my brother would get a tractor each year and some weird cartoon character and my sister, who was by far the girliest, had a vast collection of Barbie Doll ornaments. The first year Cole, my husband, and I decorated our tree, he was shocked at the number of ornaments mom had given me over the years. He said “One of these days, many years from now, when your mom is not here, you are going to cherish these ornaments.” I have started counting the days until I can decorate this year’s Christmas tree.

And finally, my mom was the epitome of the word “positive.” When mom developed a 2nd cancer (endometrial) in 2004, we told her “you beat cancer (breast) the first time, you can do it again”. We developed a theme and it revolved around being positive. Every time I got off the phone with her, I would say, “What’s the key word?” and she would respond “Positive”. Last summer, my family experienced difficult times when within three months my aunt Jenny (mom’s sister) was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, mom’s endometrial cancer had returned and I was diagnosed with breast cancer at 29 years old. As I was driving home from the doctor that day I called my mom and in tears, told her the news. Before she hung up the phone, she said “Kristi, now what’s the key word?” and I said, “Of course mom, it’s Positive!”

She stayed true to that until the end; always hiding how she really felt. She was an amazing mom and I hope that I can be one tenth of the person she was.

To close, I want to read a quote from a book I gave her when her cancer returned last year, “I learned from what you said, even more from what you did, and the most from who you were”.

My mom was an incredible woman. At 39 years old, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was just graduating high school and had no idea what this meant. Cancer was rarely talked about and my mom seemed to hide all of the details from my family. She beat breast cancer after rounds of chemotherapy and radiation. Eleven years later, just before my wedding, my mom was diagnosed with endometrial cancer. My family was heartbroken but we assumed it would be just as easy as breast cancer. My mom fought endometrial cancer for three years.

When she was diagnosed with endometrial cancer, her doctor mentioned that breast and gynecological cancers are related and sometimes can be passed down by a gene called BRCA 1 or BRCA 2. We had no idea what this meant, but we knew that this would be a great way to assess each family members risk. My mom asked me, my brother and my sister to take the test. Initially, I was the only one that agreed. My brother and sister decided that what they did not know would not hurt them. I was shocked at their reasoning but decided I would have to use my persuasive powers for them to "see the light". I took the test immediately praying that it would come back negative. After three weeks (frankly I had almost forgotten that I had taken the test), the results were in. I was positive for BRCA 1! I was not upset. I told my mom and my doctor that all that it meant was that I was going to be monitored more closely. What are the chances that someone under 35 would have to worry about cancer? We decided that day (in 2004) that I would switch doctors and that my mom's gynecological oncologist would now become my gynecologist. Again, I did not worry even though all of the data said that women with BRCA 1 had up to an 80% of developing breast cancer and up to a 40% chance of ovarian cancer. Instead of seeing my doctor every 12 months, it was recommended that I come in every 6 months. At the time, I thought....this is standard...no big deal.

Six weeks before my 30th birthday (August 2006), I went in to see my doctor. I was a little behind schedule and my doctor was thankful that I finally made it in. I will always remember that day (August 2nd, 2006). The words, "this feels funny" will always be etched in my mind. This day would be the beginning of a journey of a lifetime. I was diagnosed with Stage 1 breast cancer at 29! Although I had a bilateral mastectomy (if I would have kept the other breast, I would still have up to an 80% chance of developing a 2nd breast cancer) and eight rounds of chemotherapy, my outlook was outstanding. My tumor was only 1.5 cm and there was no lymph node involvement. I was so pleased!

Looking back over the last several months, I realize just how lucky I am. My mom saved me. There is not one good thing to say about cancer, but my mom's second cancer saved me. The statistics are there - "At 35, women should get their first mammogram". If I would have waited, I would not have made it. My tumor would have had six years to grow (I have to admit that I was not the best about performing my monthly breast exams). And since the risk of developing ovarian cancer is there, my husband and I have fast-tracked our child-bearing timeline. Initially we wanted to start having children at age 35. My breast oncologist said that there is always a risk of killing your ovaries during chemotherapy. He also said that your period could take up to ONE YEAR to come back! I am pleased to say that three months after last treatment - it's back! I never thought I would be so happy to see a period! My husband and I are underway and hope to have children very soon. It is recommended that a hysterectomy be performed to minimize my chance of ovarian cancer. After going through chemotherapy, I would do just about anything! I can handle a hot flash or two. And again, I would not be here today making all of these decisions if my mom had not said "that gene test may be a good idea for you". Thank you mom - I love you and miss you!

And if you are wondering if my brother and sister finally took the gene test? They both tested negative! While we wait for a cure for cancer, my family is doing their part. And I have not stopped at my brother and sister. I encourage anyone AND everyone that I meet (who has a history of breast or ovarian cancer) to consider the gene test. While we may not be able to prevent or cure cancer, we sure can find a way to stop it early. And that is the key to living a long and cancer-free life!


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